What would you do?

Do you ever think about what you would do if you lost a loved one?

Or maybe how it would feel? Or suppose you never got to say goodbye, or I love you? Think about this. What if the person that meant the world to you was gone by tomorrow... then what would you do? I lost my Dad June 4th, and it was the hardest thing in the world that has ever happened to me. I feel like the worst part was that there was nothing I could do to help my dad. Just seeing him lying in the hospital bed, in so much pain, crying his eyes out.. it was the hardest thing ever. I've never seen my dad cry in his life, and it just hurt me so much. All I was thinking was why, why me? Why my family? Why my dad? People always say "God has a plan for life ", but does He really? It just makes you ask why God would want to rip your family apart, and take a loved one. When my dad died, I didn't even get one last kiss from him. God needed an angel so it seems. But still, I was like "What did I do to deserve this?"  That was the thing.. I did nothing. I thought my dad was so strong he'd make it through whatever.

Dad, it's so hard to accept the fact that you're gone forever. It's hard for me to tell you "I love you" as I stand over your grave and I know I'll never hear your voice again. Why did you leave me? Why couldn't you just stay because my world is nothing without you, and I don't know what to do with myself. I just miss you so much.

There is a song that I always listen to called " Holes in the floor of heaven. " This song helped me through some really hard nights. Here are the lyrics of the song:

How I cried when the sky let go with a cold and lonesone vain,        
Momma smiled said don't be sad child, Daddy's watchin' you today,
'cause there's holes in the floor of heaven and his tears are pourin'
down, that's how you know he's watchin' wishin' he could be here now,
and sometimes if you're lonely, just remember he can see, there's holes in the floor of Heaven and he's watchin' over you and me.

Do you believe that there are holes in heaven's floor? Or that your missed loved ones are watching over you?... Well, I do! I feel like people just have to believe and think the unthinkable, then maybe they will know. Things will never be the same without you...things will be okay, but they will never be the same.