A Song That Defines My Life.

 

A Song That Defines My Life.

In my life I've been faced with many obstacles that I had to overcome. Their were times when I felt like giving up and just throwing in the towel so to speak but I never did. As a child I was adopted and never knew my real parents, as a child it wasn't that bad but growing up it became hard for me. Many times I question myself, why was I adopted? Or why my parents didn't want me? But then I realized maybe they did the right thing to give me up to a family that could possibly support me better. This is more than a blog to me because I've had to deal with this my whole life, and to be able to unlock the hold in my thoughts is a great feeling. Many people might think it was wrong for my parents to do that and they could be right. But with or without my parents I'm still surviving in life and doing all the right things I need to do to get ahead. But don't get me wrong I do miss growing up without my actual parents. Theirs been some hard times but what kept me from loosing my mind is knowing that I still have my sisters. We help each other with difficulties and comfort each other when we have minor breakdowns. regardless of everything I love my sisters for being their for me and i love my new family. This just goes to show you that even when times are hard things will get better as long as you have faith in what you want to accomplish. As for me, I'm waiting for a day when I can finally see my parents face to face and say "I love you mom and I love you dad".


We're at the crossroads my dear
Where do we go from here
Maybe you wont go maybe you'll stay
I know I'm going to miss you either way
Its such a lonely road

Where do we go from here (We go) (All I Can Do Is)
Follow the tracks of my tears (Follow The Tracks) (Tears)


When I cry your name
Am I calling in vain?
Am I waitin' only to drown in pain?
Don't you do it no don't you leave me this way
I don't know if I could lift my head and face another day
It's such a lonely road


Where do we go from here (We go) (All I Can Do Is)
Follow the tracks of my tears (Follow The Tracks) (Tears)


Usually not the kind of girl who's lost and looking for direction
Who could this be staring at me
When I'm looking in the mirror trying find the resolution
Were to far gone to find our way home

Where do we go from here (We go) (All I Can Do Is)
Follow the tracks of my tears (Follow The Tracks of my tears)

Where do we go from here (Maybe you will go maybe you'll stay) (All I Can Do Is)
Follow the tracks of my tears (Follow) (Either Way)


Oh oh oh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se8e3oiGjGA

What would you do?

Do you ever think about what you would do if you lost a loved one?

Or maybe how it would feel? Or suppose you never got to say goodbye, or I love you? Think about this. What if the person that meant the world to you was gone by tomorrow... then what would you do? I lost my Dad June 4th, and it was the hardest thing in the world that has ever happened to me. I feel like the worst part was that there was nothing I could do to help my dad. Just seeing him lying in the hospital bed, in so much pain, crying his eyes out.. it was the hardest thing ever. I've never seen my dad cry in his life, and it just hurt me so much. All I was thinking was why, why me? Why my family? Why my dad? People always say "God has a plan for life ", but does He really? It just makes you ask why God would want to rip your family apart, and take a loved one. When my dad died, I didn't even get one last kiss from him. God needed an angel so it seems. But still, I was like "What did I do to deserve this?"  That was the thing.. I did nothing. I thought my dad was so strong he'd make it through whatever.

Dad, it's so hard to accept the fact that you're gone forever. It's hard for me to tell you "I love you" as I stand over your grave and I know I'll never hear your voice again. Why did you leave me? Why couldn't you just stay because my world is nothing without you, and I don't know what to do with myself. I just miss you so much.

There is a song that I always listen to called " Holes in the floor of heaven. " This song helped me through some really hard nights. Here are the lyrics of the song:

How I cried when the sky let go with a cold and lonesone vain,        
Momma smiled said don't be sad child, Daddy's watchin' you today,
'cause there's holes in the floor of heaven and his tears are pourin'
down, that's how you know he's watchin' wishin' he could be here now,
and sometimes if you're lonely, just remember he can see, there's holes in the floor of Heaven and he's watchin' over you and me.

Do you believe that there are holes in heaven's floor? Or that your missed loved ones are watching over you?... Well, I do! I feel like people just have to believe and think the unthinkable, then maybe they will know. Things will never be the same without you...things will be okay, but they will never be the same.